Saturday, December 20, 2008 | By: Slacker Mom

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

I've tried to be good this year. I've been watching what I eat (and it all looked pretty good), keeping the house clean (when we're having company), and playing with my children (I love the "quiet game"). I make sure to do the laundry after everyone's run out of underwear and the children are always bathed after they start to stink. I catch the dust bunnies when they escape from under the furniture, help the kids find their clean clothes from the laundry baskets and keep our videos rewound so the kids can entertain themselves easier. Not only do I keep up with all of this around the house, but I'm involved in philanthropic endeavors as well. I financially support the local thrift stores and dollar stores. I single-handedly keep my neighborhood Papa Murphy's and McDonald's thriving. In light of all this, I'm hoping that you might bring me something off my Christmas list this year. Here's what I would like:

A dishwasher specifically for pots and pans. I know that there are good lessons to be learned in working hard but I think I know them already and my time would be put to better use if I didn't have to wash them myself.

A toilet that catches all moisture that comes even close to it. Since my boys seem to have difficulty hitting the right target, this would make my bathroom so much more pleasant to walk into.

A camera that will hold the batteries in without using tape. And while you're at it, maybe you could get me one of those that you can look at the screen to shoot instead of looking through the tiny viewfinder. It's just that I'm getting older and my eyes would appreciate not having to strain to look at a half inch picture of something.

I would like a car that doesn't have vinyl seats. I appreciate that's it's easier to clean, but we are freezing off important bodies parts in the winter and frying those same parts in the summer.

I would also like to have a few extra ears. I know that 2 really should be enough and I don't mean to sound greedy. It's just that when I have all 3 kids hollering to be heard by me, having 3 different conversations while I'm trying to watch TV, it's very hard to concentrate. If I had more ears, I could listen to all of them and not miss anything on TV.

Finally, I would like a house that has no more "projects" to finish. I would like a bathroom with a working sink, a kitchen with cabinet doors and a full countertop, windows that aren't broken, rooms with plenty of light, and carpets that aren't stained.

I realize that I'm asking for a lot. But hopefully you could find it in your heart to get me at least one of the things on my list (I'm leaning toward the toilet thing). I will do my best to continue to be good. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Merry Christmas,
Sheri (you know which one)


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